Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Completely Devastated

For two years I loved her. But I used her selfishly. Whenever I wanted her, I would have her on my terms and only my terms. However, it was a mutual relationship. I filled her with life and cared for her, and she in turn would respond willingly at my slightest touch.

We were inseparable, never spending more than a few hours apart. At first it was innocent, but eventually I took to taking her to bed. From there it became an infatuation – I needed her all the time. We explored the darker recesses of my mind, probing to find new forms of stimulation. At times it was lurid and depraved, while at others it was bright and innocent.

There were signs that her light was fading, but I ignored them. What could I do, but go on? I was determined to keep her with me. As if willful ignorance of our impending separation would keep her in my life, I stubbornly continued on until she could bear it no more. Now she’s gone, leaving only a shell of her former glory. Her mind has rotted away, leaving only her sleek body. Like a broken record, all she can say is Error Code: C00D124D.

I called Microsoft to see if they could do anything, but they said I had to pay 160 bucks to get her fixed. They said the hard drive was experiencing internal failures. Oh yea, you're an internal failure! So at the moment, I am completely and utterly devastated by the loss of my trusty Zune. Sigh. It was a good run while it lasted, but now I am utterly in despair without my Mp3 player.

The idea of walking down the street without a constant soundtrack to my life is almost unbearable. Does that mean I have to hum the BeeGee’s “Stayin’ Alive” while I walk down the street at night? I can’t hit those high notes!!! It's not fun when there's no music!

Damnit Microsoft, why did you have to do this to me? WHY??????

Rest in peace my faithful Mp3 player. 9/22/2010. I’ll never forget.

There she is at her prime. Feast your eyes on her massive screen and sleek curves.

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